


Unswitchable

by dinoburger



Category: OFF (Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Drug Dealing, Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-11
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2017-12-11 12:48:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/798906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinoburger/pseuds/dinoburger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A  "normal" AU in a world much closer to ours. Featuring Enoch the Candyman and Dedan the Mailman.</p><p>Along with a bird, a cat and a merchant.</p><p>(EDITED SLIGHTLY? POSSIBLY REVIVED?)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sugar

**Author's Note:**

> Alrighty boys n girls, I gotta say it's been some time since I worked on this one.
> 
> I can't entirely remember the plot of it, like a fool I neglected to jot it all down. I will try to keep it going along the same track though. Or as close to it as I can get.
> 
> I scarcely even remember why I chose the title. I mean, originally I was just gonna call it "Candyman" but I changed my mind, it seems.
> 
> Hm. Nevertheless, the show must go on!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugar and Spice and everything nice.

Beyond the shop window barely a soul disturbed the quiet streets, only with the occasional car rumbling by. The hours passed lazily, waiting for nothing in particular. The sky was muffled with clouds, grey light dulling the vibrantly coloured jars of candy that lined the walls, barely touched throughout the afternoon.

Twirling a rainbow-spiralled lollipop between his fingers, Enoch’s mind wandered idly, not bothered by the peace yet still somewhat restless after having so little to do all day. At least on busy days it was quite exciting having so many people flowing in and out of the store, so many happy customers and bright faces. Well, not all of them were quite so bright, but that was the point of running a little lolly store like this, to brighten up all the children that came by.

And the older costumers, too.

The door opened with a faint chime, snapping him out of his daze to see the man standing in the entrance. His appearance was fairly average, black tie, chalk-white skin, deep, sleep deprived eyes that darted from place to place nervously. He fiddled with his tie as he approached, Enoch greeting him with a welcoming grin.

“Hello there, and what brings you here?” he asked pleasantly, his deep voice amused, but gentle.

The man was almost startled by it, hesitating as he tried to force words from his lips. “Uhh… Hi, uhm, I was told that you, um…” He swallowed hard, no longer able to meet the huge shop-keeper’s gaze. “Th-that you sell _sugar_?”

The huge man’s eyes sparkled darkly, “ _Sugar_ , you say?” Enoch said with mock surprise.  
Wordlessly, the little man fished out a suspicious amount of money from his pocket and placed it on the counter before them, pushing it toward Enoch.

“…Alright, I’ll see what I can do for you.”

He crouched down beneath the counter, audibly sliding things aside, moving around yet more jars of sweets. A strange, unexpected clunk came out from beneath, and then another, before putting back the jars he had taken out.

The Elsen could barely stand in place, his insides fluttered with anticipation and mind crawled with desperation, scratching the insides of his cubic skull. He was scared that his head might just explode into a stream of smoke if he didn’t get this soon enough.

“Here we are.” Enoch announced as he dropped a white paper bag onto the counter. “Genuine _sugar_ , you can check if you like, its good quality too.”

He watched the man carefully open the bag, inspecting it. The Elsen dipped his pinkie in to test it, even the smallest taste telling that it was, in fact, very good quality.  
He clutched the bag to his chest, moving back from the counter, hands shaking and eyes wide, eager for more as he stared into it.

“Not here.” Enoch told him firmly, expression demandingly serious. “Close it, keep it in your pocket, and don’t take it out until you’re far, far away from here. Got it?”

The man nodded vacantly as he stuffed it into his pocket, his mouth hanging open slightly, eyes distant, distracted by craving. Enoch watched him stumble out the door again, one hand glued to his pocket, the other pushing it open.

Enoch had enough experience to know that this was a dangerous business, the consequences of being discovered were severe, it was best to avoid as much risk as possible.

Which begs the question, why did he put himself in such a risky situation anyway? You’d think he did it for the credits, but no, he really did it for the people. Working so hard for so long every day could stress a man to death, literally, he’d heard stories of Elsens burning under pressure. He offered them relief, a simple way to clear their minds of their troubles and escape the unbearable force of reality.

Yes, selling candy to children was one way of making people happy, but he wouldn’t be limited to just that.


	2. Tall Mister

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the Big Mister and the Tall Mister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I'll see what I can do with this one...)

Visiting the little candy-store had become routine for Dedan, not that he ever bought anything, or even liked the place with all its horrible secrets (of which he knew too well). He guessed that was the price of being friends with the strangest, most shit-brained man in all the zones.

Dedan himself was a very straight-forward man, he worked hard at what he did (he worked in a post office) and made whatever money he could in an honest way. How he and Enoch had happened to cross paths was pure conincidence.

He remembered too clearly, seeing the fat-ass stuck in a hole just down the street from the lolly shop, unable to pull himself out until Dedan had stopped to give him a hand. He would never know how the big man had gotten himself wedged in there like that, but sometimes Dedan wondered if life would be any different if he had just kept walking that day, if he left someone else to help the dull-witted lard-cake out.

Later, after talking for a while Enoch had eventually mentioned his little business and told him that he’d love it if Dedan ever happened to stop by. One afternoon, curiosity got the better of him and he did take the time to visit the candy-shop. If only he knew then what sort of fucked-up shit happened there.

Despite hating the place and its general moral wrongness, seeing Enoch was still the highlight of his week. At least Enoch didn’t seem to mind his company, and Dedan could tolerate him more than most.

Walking with quick, sure steps toward the bright green walls that made the little shop stand out from the tall, white buildings around it, he spotted a small figure leaning against it.

An odd young man usually lingered about here, hunched under the weight of an enormous backpack that made him look even smaller. His hands were shoved into the pockets of his black pants, a dirty white shirt with a pink heart in the centre exposed knobbly elbows, yet his face was completely covered by a mask expressing a face similar to that of a frog. It revealed nothing but black messy hair and dark eyes that soon caught his gaze, staring back, studying the tall man with almost innocent curiosity.

Dedan glared when the attention was turned to him, but said nothing. Not like he wasn't used to it by now. Most people knew better than to stare too long though. A monster like him didn't damn well have the patience for it. But this time he'd let it slide, keeping his long hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jacket.

 

When he entered, Enoch was the only one in, and that grin of his was so reassuring Dedan was already beginning to relax in his presence.

“Ah, Dedan. Always a pleasure to see you.” A warm, familiar voice welcomed him.

“Yeah, good to see you too, fatty.” Dedan replied bluntly, yet without aggression.

Enoch wasn’t put off by the remark, expecting no less. “Are you still working in that horrible little office in that awfully tall building?”

Dedan huffed at the question. “You say that like it’s my fault, besides, it’s better than working in this fucked-up shit-house.”

Enoch shrugged, “If you insist, but my offer still stands. I could always use an extra hand around here.”

“I have no intention of helping you fatten snot-nose brats and drug up desperate morons. My answer is still no.” Dedan concluded.

Enoch snorted, “Don’t say it that way, you know I’m doing it for their own good. It’s the only thing that keeps them sane under all that pressure.”

“Well some good you’re doing, getting them hopelessly addicted to the stuff. I’m sure more Elsens burn because of their addiction rather than pressure. And you know what? I say let them burn, the fuckers deserve it for being stupid enough to try it in the first place.” He sneered.

“…Maybe if you tried it, you’d feel different about it.” Enoch added quietly.

For a long moment, Dedan leaned back into the counter, drained for words to respond with. He had days like these sometimes, days that made him want to do nothing but curse his head off. God knows why Enoch put up with it the way he did, but thank god he did.

The silence was broken when the bell tinkled away, Dedan being the first to see a little boy standing at the door.

“Tall Mister!”

Hugo ran over to them, his little face as bright as ever as he collided into the tall man’s leg, hugging it tightly.

Dedan chuckled, ruffling Hugo’s hair affectionately. “Hey kid.”  
After greeting the first man, Hugo darted to the counter, standing on tip-toes to see another warm, welcoming face above. He stretched his arms across the surface, reaching towards him.

“Hello Big Mister!”

Enoch leaned over to pick him up and place him onto the counter, a privilege no-one but Hugo had. “And what can I get for you then, little Hugo?” He asked fondly.

While Hugo and Enoch talked about all the different candies he could buy, Dedan’s attention was slowly drawn to the man standing outside.

The Batter wasn’t quite as tall as him, but that made him no less menacing, eyes obscured by his hat, he discussed something with the odd, masked man. After a while, he slipped off the straps of his backpack and crouched down to rummage through it, finally removing a metal bat and exchanging it for the coloured notes the Batter now held out to him. Hugo’s father weighed it in his hands, swinging it experimentally, while his friend counted the money, flipping through.

He watched the merchant heave the bag back onto his back, tugging the lip of his cap as a sort of wordless goodbye.

When the Batter turned to face the store, he stopped, noticing Dedan through the glass. The tall man’s eyes became dark, angry slits, but drew no reaction from the other, only a long, tense silence.

A distorted growl caught Enoch’s attention as the Batter entered, approaching the counter, the candyman keeping a calm smile while Hugo stared with wide eyes. The lollipop in his mouth muffled his protests as his father scooped him up, leaving without another glance.

Hugo looked back helplessly over the Batter’s shoulder as they left the little shop behind, Enoch offering him a small wave before they disappeared out the door and around the corner.

Dedan exhaled heavily through tightly clamped teeth. “He shouldn’t’ve come here.” He muttered, “That man pisses me off so goddamned much, it’s un-fucking-believable.”

Enoch snorted with amusement. “Well, it’s not that surprising, there are many things that piss you off. Regardless, it’s only a matter of getting used to him, he is Hugo’s father, after all.” He reasoned.

Dedan shook his head, “No, I don’t trust him one bit. Especially with all the messed up shit I’ve heard about him. It’s dangerous to have people like him around, but with a business like yours? It’s just batshit insane.”

“I do appreciate your concern, but I’m certain it’s nothing I can’t handle. Besides, what’s a little man like him going to do to me, hmm?”  
Still unsure of it, Dedan could only gaze out into the darkening streets, lost in anxious thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I left in just about all of Dedan's cursing because that's still entertaining for some reason lmao
> 
> I cut out some redundancies. >: /


	3. The Bird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new chapter??? whoa.

Tall grey buildings caught the early morning sun, windows flashing with light that cut through the smog. The crisp cool air cleared sleepy thoughts, Dedan swore he even heard a faint bird song from high above.

It wasn’t entirely necessary for him to be up this early, but he preferred it like that, he didn’t have to put up with everyone’s bullshit if they weren’t around. Plus, anyone who was up at this time was generally too tired to care, glazed eyes leaving him unnoticed.

Nowadays, he couldn’t even dress the way he wanted without attracting unwanted attention. If it were up to him, he’d be wearing his favourite military jacket. But the head of the post office told him that it was out of uniform.

The uniform he was supposed to wear consisted of a plain black tie, plain black pants, and a shirt that came far too tight around his chest. It looked just as stupid as it felt. And it never made him look any less conspicuous.

Dedan stood far taller than any of the Elsen he worked with. Not even his boss, a somewhat pathetic man who tried to act authoritative, but had an uncontrollable tremor in his voice, could compare to his sheer height.

Nor to his strangeness.

He didn’t fit amongst the pale plain buildings, the pale plain men with indistinct faces.

Despite that he had a job quite similar to most of the other men in his department, and even if that there was no real power that came with the job description, Dedan found that a lot of his co-workers would look to him for advice or assistance.

Even men in other departments. Even, sometimes, his own _boss_ would expect him to do things that supposedly weren’t in his area.

But no matter what he did, no matter how much better he was than the whole damn incompetent system, he was still stuck there. He never got a pay raise, nor a higher position, nothing since he’d started at the place, and still he was expected to do everything and more.

Better than being unemployed, though. Or better than working with _him_.

At least Dedan had a decent, honest job.

At least the jacket looked good on him, when he did get to wear it.

He kept these things ticking over and over again in his head, striding forwards at a strong pace, gaze fixed ahead.

The bang and crash coming from within a nearby trashcan jolted him back into reality. A trashcan had no right to be so damn noisy. It pissed him off to no end as the clattering racket continued erupting from within.

Of course, it had to be Dedan that dealt with it. Those Elsen were liable to pissing themselves before being at all useful.

He stormed over and forced the metal lid free. Something jumped out at him. Dedan screamed, the round lid clanging off down the pavement.

After a second of sheltering his face with his arm, the tall man peered out at his attacker.

Dedan gasped.

The small white bird perched before him, chirping to itself, tilting its head to examine him.

He’d never seen a bird so close before. He could see the texture of its soft feathers, the darkness of those eyes, that smooth beak.

For a short moment, Dedan was frozen there, hoping not to scare the creature away.

Then the bird took wing, fluttering off into the sky. The tall mister wandered off to the post office in a daze.

 

* * *

 

Enoch screwed shut the glass jar of black and white striped candies, the bell tinkling at his customer’s departure.

This one particular Elsen had a weekly ritual, arriving at the same time on the same day to buy the same amount of humbugs. A very regular customer, in short.

He remembered there had been one occasion in which he’d given them a few extra humbugs on accident. The Elsen became so flustered about it that Enoch just let them take the whole bag for free.

Naturally, they refused, but then Enoch had insisted.

He was quite fond of them, after all. They seemed much less intimidated than most of his Elsen customers.

Enoch took note of his stock, studying the shelves. Running low on peppermints. Plenty of musk sticks. Just enough liquorice to last for the week.

There was a sharp clack behind him. The candy man turned to see something staring right back at him down a long beak. The shop door was jammed open.

The sheer size of the beast caught Enoch off guard, but he soon composed himself.

“Go on, shoo! Go away!” he attempted to wave it off.

The creature fluffed up its feathers and opened its wings and beak out a little more, but otherwise did not move.

Enoch frowned.

“What’s a thing like you doing in here anyway? What do you want?” he grumbled to himself.

“I have a name you know.”

Enoch blinked, glancing around for the source of the voice. He found nothing but those dark eyes, staring into him. “Wh…what?”

“You can call me Japhet.” It announced proudly, flourishing its wings. “And I have arrived at this establishment to seek the man who saved me.”

Enoch reasoned that maybe the sugar in the air was giving him these bizarre hallucinations. Japhet’s tail swished across the floor, neck extended to full height. Japhet also had horse hooves. Enoch stared.

“I believe you must be familiar with him. A tall man with long teeth and deep eyes, residing within a large facial cavity.” Japhet described to him.

“Dedan? You’re looking for Dedan?” Enoch looked up at the bird in bewilderment.

Dedan, the foul tempered man working at the post office, who had apparently become the saviour of this large mystical beast.

“He won’t be here for a good few hours, if he is coming today…”

“Then I shall wait.” The bird concluded, sitting decisively onto its hind legs.

Enoch shot a glimpse out the door and back. “I’m sorry, but you can’t wait here. You’ll scare away my customers.” He explained, on the off chance this wasn’t his imagination.

“I will do no such thing, I assure you. Besides, you have no right to place a judgement like that on me, yet allow men with dark, open faces and large, bestial teeth to do as they wish.” The bird remarked.

So, maybe it had a point. Dedan did have a way of making people very uncomfortable, after all.

Although…

“I don’t know if it’s really appropriate… There are… certain things you can’t do in here. I am trying to keep this business sanitary, after all…” Enoch managed, knowing too well the reputation of birds.

“What exactly are you suggesting?”

“Well…”

“That I might exhibit the behaviours of a _common pigeon_?” Japhet stood once more, beak prodding into the alarmed shopkeeper’s personal space.

“Are you implying,” Japhet fluttered onto the counter to peer down at him, “that I would act in a manner so _vulgar_ , as one would expect from any _**witless fowl**_?” Japhet’s tail lashed.

“Um…”

“WELL YOU ARE VERY MUCH MISTAKEN!” The bird screeched above him.

Enoch’s eyes darted nervously, just catching sight of the man approaching the shop’s door behind.

“Alright, alright, you can stay!" he agreed hastily. "And, maybe you could just… come over this side…” 

“Thank you.” Japhet huffed, hopping down from the counter.

The Elsen who had been making his way inside looked rather surprised.

“Hello.” Enoch greeted, forcing a smile.

His customer was a little overwhelmed by the presence of a certain creature, almost ignoring Enoch himself.

“So, you… have a bird? I didn’t realise you owned any pets. It’s… very pretty.” The Elsen commented.

“Err…”

“Excuse you, but I am not _his_ bird. Nor am I _owned_ by anyone. Do you not recognise the **legendary** _Millennial Fire Bird_ when you see it?” Japhet proclaimed boldly.

Enoch winced.

“Oh, it… talks too? How clever!” The Elsen clapped their hands together, impressed.

“ **Dare you ignore me?** ” In a fit of rage, the bird’s wings spread out, rippling with orange light. “ **Will you not hear? I am no household PET.** ” Heat radiated from its feathers.

Not good. Not good at all. Enoch felt panic rise through his chest.

“ **I AM - -** “ Japhet was body-tackled to the floor before it could finish.

The bird writhed under Enoch’s crushing weigh, squawking it’s protests, body glowing brighter and brighter. The air around him was burning, his face already beginning to drip sweat and hands singed through cloth gloves. He needed to smother the fire before things got any worse.

Japhet wasn’t weak, either. The violence with which the bird struggled sent Enoch crashing into the shelves, jars scattered and broken, those powerful equine legs kicking out against his mass. Slightly winded, eyes watering, Enoch held on as tightly as he could.

He squeezed hard.

And impossibly, the longer he squeezed, the less he had to hold onto.

Japhet’s body seemed to retract into itself, getting smaller and smaller until the tiny bird flew easily out of Enoch’s hands. Half-crouched on the floor, he watched Japhet retreat into the upper-most shelves, perching in a small pocket between the jars.

Enoch heaved himself painfully upright, supported by the counter, breathing hard. Grey marks covered his clothes, face flushed, panting from the effort. He wiped the sweat from his glittering brow onto the back of his sleeve.

“Uh… I-I did hear that some birds can be… quite hard to train…”

“Yeah… And how true that is…” Enoch replied between heavy breaths. “Now… _hff_ … how… can I help you?”

 


End file.
